Walking in the aisle in between the palace walls, Mei Li trod carefully, fearing that if she relaxed, she would lose control of herself and start running.
For two years, she hasn’t stepped out of the dilapidated courtyard of the Anning Hall. At the small doorway at the Xihua Gate, she actually saw Zi Yu— she almost didn’t recognize him. When he saw him when Zi Qing visited her before, she thought he had grown up. But now, it seems that he has become a strange man.
The handsome face remained the same, but his youthful glow she has grew fond of has been replaced with something else. He… seems to be radiating so much power.
She sighed secretly. It’s not just Zi Yu, but there have been too many things that happened in the past two years. Everything has moved on. Who will still look like a young man?
He was also looking at her. From his someone surprised gaze, Mei Li knew that he is just like her— lamenting the changes that the years had made them. She nodded and smiled at him, but she didn’t know what to say to him. They are people who should have been familiar with each other but were separated for a long time… there was nothing to talk about.
Instead, Zi Yu spoke first, “I heard you’re going home today. Ruoyu came into the palace with me to see you. Here, she’s talking with your old housekeeper outside the gate.”
Mei Li’s nose became sore. Finally, she still failed to control herself. She quickly ran out of the gate surrounded by the guards and stepped out of the Forbidden City that trapped her for more than two years.
Ruoyu is talking to Uncle[1] Hai who has his back facing her. When her expression changed when she saw Mei Li, Uncle Hai’s immediately knew that she has arrived, his old facial feature wrinkled as he started crying.
“Princess[2]!” He ignored etiquette and ran to meet Mei Li and took her in his arms.
“Uncle Hai!” Mei Li also hugged him tightly. Although he is a subordinate, she grew in hardships with him, experience every embarrassment, and knew everything about her better than his grandchildren.
“Child[3]… you have suffered!” Uncle hai cried so much he is gasping for breath.
Ruoyu also kept wiping her tears with a silk ribbon. She couldn’t bear the two crying like this, she stepped forward and persuaded them, “Mei Li, Uncle Haim today is a happy day. We should not cry so much.”
Uncle Hai also knew that he had lost his composure and helped Mei Li stand up. He said with a choking voice. “Princess, we have to thank Zi Yu and his wife for taking care of our estate for the past two years. They are really kind people!”
Mei Li knew that with the Prince Qian’s estate being powerful, and with her being imprisoned, everyone should be avoiding her. After Zi Qing-jiejie passed away, Zi Yu and Ruo Yu still visited her twice. They were probably discouraged not to come again.
She really had nothing to repay this favor[4]. She moved her lips to say something to Ruoyu but no thing came out. She could not even say thank you. After all, a “thank you” is too light for everything that they did.
Ruoyu didn’t want to hear say grateful words. She instead pushed her in the carriage., “Hurry and go home. I’ll come find you later!”
Sitting on the carriage, Mei Li couldn’t help but lift the curtain. She stared greedily at the bustling streets and pedestrians. The bits and pieces of the cold palace flowed from the bottom of her heart forming a mirage blending with the scene in front of her. Tears uncontrollably flowed down. The loneliness she has endured silently in the past suddenly came back against the laughter of the city which made it even more difficult to bear. Hearing the lively surrounding, it is more intolerable than being in the cold palace.
Her home[5] is not far from the imperial city that it took her a few moment to arrive after two years of separation. When uncle Hai stopped the carriage just outside the main gate, more than two people fell on their knees to welcome the young mistress back.
Mei Li looked around the mansion where she grew up. It was renovated after she left. The main gate and the surrounding wall have been repaired and cleaned. Although it still can’t hide the its years, it doesn’t look as dilapidated as before. She looked at the people who welcomed her one by one, some of whom she still knew, while the others were obviously new.
As if reading her thoughts, Uncle Hai whispered to her that because of the Prince Qian’s mansion’s support for the last two years, their estate is much better than before.
“Uncle Hai, after I change my clothes, take me to see the old woman’s family[6].” Although she already paid the price of her crimes, she has sincerely repented. A person still died. She looked at the ceremonial robes she is wearing and realized that she has really changed. This was her favorite red before. But now the bright color makes her very uncomfortable.
“Oh, no need. Prince Jingxuan gave the family a lot of money and they were able to settle back to their hometown to live.”
Mei Li was stunned for a while. In the past, even Uncle Hai used to hate Jingxuan the most because he made her lose face. She smiled softly. The truth is, it was not that he didn’t give her face— she just shamelessly pestered him. Now he just cleaned up this trouble so it wouldn’t harm his estate’s name. And now, Uncle Hai dramatically changed his view of him. He used to say that Jingxuan’s a bastard. But now he calls him Prince[7].
“Well, that’s alright.” She nodded slowly. “I’m a little tired.”
“Oh, oh!” Then retreat to your room and rest.” Uncle Hai motioned for the servants to do their respective duties. The girl who is leading her is a little maid[8] whom Mei Li didn’t recognize.
The little maid’s name is Jiang Liu. She is only 12 years old when Uncle Hai bought her. Although she is smart and diligent, she is not familiar with how to serve a princess like Mei Li after all, so she was a little flustered.
Mei Li sees that her room is still the same, but its now neat and tidy. Even the beddings are brand new. Mei Li gently lay on it and found that it was such a soft, thick and warm bed. She hadn’t lied in such proper bed for a long time. She then closed her eyes but found that she couldn’t sleep.
There is bit of excitement in her heart, but she is sad, and more at a loss.
She was always suffering when she was still in Anning Hall that she had always yearned to leave that living tomb quickly. Now that she is finally out, she didn’t know what she wanted anymore.
If only…
The corners of her eyes became warm as tears started to flow silently on her cheeks. If only anyone else wanted to marry her— cherish and protect her, maybe she can be happy. She has always wanted to have a family and children of her own. She doesn’t want to be alone anymore. Because it is something that she knows too well now— it is terrible.
It’s just… is there still anyone who will be willing to marry her now?
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Notes:
[1] 叔 (Shu) – Uncle
[2] The term used here is 格格 (Gege) meaning princess. A loanword from Manchu. Characters and meaning differ from the older brother gege which is like this 哥哥
[3] 孩子 (Hai Zi) meaning child or baby.
[4] The phrase used is 雪中送炭的 (Xue zhong song tan) literally charcoal in the snow which is a metaphor of giving timely assistance to people in distress
[5] 王府 (Wangfu) – Literally a prince’s mansion / estate
[6] She was pertaining to the family of the one who accidentally died because of her.
[7] Uncle Hai called him Jingxuan Wang— a title for a prince.
[8] 小丫鬟 (xiao yahuan) little servant girl
Kaye's Ugly Translations 
The first 2 chapters are confusing. Her pov shifts between her previous life and ‘the past 2yrs’. At what point in the previous timeline did she die to recall her imprisonment like yesterday?
It’s unfortunate she wasn’t reborn before she killed someone.
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