My name is Shen Hanyu.
In my life, there has been no dramatic climaxes. My world only revolves around a girl named Shen Tianqing— my sister.
This so-called “lifetime” is actually not very long. So far, it has only been 17 years, two hundred and forty days, nine hours, thirty-five minutes, and nine seconds.
The comments I’ve received from teachers since childhood are generally like this— that I have good character, excellent performance in everything, very eager to learn and enterprising. But what they didn’t know is that it didn’t come naturally. I was never really excellent. It’s only just because of my family upbringing and that I am maintaining a scholarship.
Like everyone else, I also have a pair of respectful parents and a very cute and lively sister Qing— although she didn’t like it when people tell her that she is because she’s still naive and childish. But it’s okay because she really is very young.
She also didn’t like it when people say that she is lively, because she thinks that people only meant she is actually naughty.
The first ever boy who confessed to her was such a heroic man. But Qing just asked him what he liked about her?
The poor boy allured of her naiveté so much that he replied: “You are cute and lively.” It’s not difficult to imagine how miserable this man suffered because of what he said, right?
Qing felt that the boy meant badly and had satirized her in a way. And in her young age, I thought that she has delusion of persecution.
My sister received a confession for the very first time, but it didn’t end up well. I don’t know how to react because of this.
I was so sorry that night, but I actually laughed until my jaw nearly dislocated because I repressed my thoughts inside. Because our family’s Qing is unlike the children from other families. She is a such astrange flower who has been living well and… actively (She’ll kill me if she finds out about this haha). But she’s such an energetic and active baby— someone who couldn’t calm down for a moment.
The moment she learned how to crawl, she has already drilled the house down. After learning how to walk, she refused to sit down. If you lift your gaze from her, she will disappear to god knows where.
Because she likes to play hide-and-seek wanting other people to give their attention to her. But strange enough, it is only me who can catch her. No matter where she hides, the first person to find her is always me.
The most ridiculous thing that happened back then was during the harvest season. Our parents who were farmers were worried to leave us two young children at home so they took us with them.
At that time, Qing had can already crawl well and was learning to walk. She was crawling around all day long proudly displaying her skills. She somehow climbed up the top of the pile of straws, but couldn’t get down. Nobody had any idea how the hell she climbed up there and the grown ups didn’t know how to get her. They were panicking as they cry that at that height, she will die when she falls.
Back then, Qing is just a baby who’s not even a year old and she didn’t know the height of the sky and the depths of the earth. She was just an innocent girl.
Her childhood is just full of thrills and excitement.
To tell the truth, I can say that I raised Tianqing myself. Since our parents were busy, I am the person closest to her. No one knows her better than I do. When she thinks of something, the first name that comes out of her mouth is not papa or mama. It’s gege.
The first word she ever said was Shen Hanyu.
When she’s hungry, tired, hurt, wronged, she would only look for me— her brother.
I can still remember that one time she becomes missing. The whole family was so anxious, we desperately searched the corners of the town. Later, we received a call from the police station that she was there happily eating and drinking.
When she saw me, she tilted her head and fell into my arms. She just smiled and slept peacefully as if she didn’t make us all worried.
The police officer told our parents, “It’s impossible to talk with this kid. When asked who her family members are— she says she knows no one. She only keeps on saying ‘gege’ and could not even tell her parents’ name. Fortunately, she remember her brother’s name, otherwise we would be at a loss. She is just fine. She already ate a bellyful after crying her brother’s name.
After the incident, she completely ignored our parents and slept in my arms. It’s as if as long as I was here, she wouldn’t mind even if the sky falls.
She is my baby. And I always thought that I would protect her and love her like this as long as I can. And when she grows up, I will entrust her in the hands of another man who will continue the task of protecting and loving her.
Until I turned seven years old, I overheard my parents talking about something that changed how I see her— that my meimei is not actually my real sister.
I felt bad because she is so young and still doesn’t understand how pitiful the truth is. I felt so sorry that I told myself that I will double my effort to protect her and make up for all the things that the universe owes her.
When Qing is happy, I would be happier. Her optimistic and cheerful personality always filled her with a bright and carefree smile. In truth, I actually have never seen her really sad for something. Even if she is punished for causing trouble, even if everyone doesn’t understand her, as long as I do, she will just smile.
When Qing was in her fifth grade of elementary school, an instructor wrote something on the family contact book— reprimanding her for being so naughty at school. Mom became very angry, but I knew that Qing is not a child who would cause trouble for no reason. Something must have happened.
I took her out for a dinner and asked her why she used a mirror to look under the teacher’s skirt.
Qing said, “I hate her!”
“Well, if Qing hates her then same goes for me. But can you at least tell your gege why?”
“She falsely accused me!” Qing said as she pursed her mouth, her eyes glistening.
I frowned and asked,” What did she falsely accuse you of?”
“The whole class hates her. Someone put cockroaches in her teacup. She couldn’t find anyone and said that it was me just because I was the one who often made trouble. Why is it that if there’s something wrong, it’s automatically my fault?”
Her voice is full of grievance and childishness.
“Qing, get up.” She doesn’t deserve to be punished. I won’t make my sister feel wronged.” After dinner, take a bath and go to bed. Tomorrow I will accompany you to school.”
“But mom…”
“I will help you tell her. But Qing, what you did was not right, you know? No matter how much you hate your instructor, you can’t do it again even out of revenge, okay?”
She nodded. “Ge, do you think I’m a bad girl?”
“Of course not!” I’ve seen her grow. How can I not understand that she that has never been bad. But I know that she has more adventurous spirit than others. Her personality is very straightforward. She likes what she likes and hates what she hates.
She never fakes anything.
I never thought that there’s something wrong about this mindset, and I even hope that she will always keep this innocence.
“My brother is the best, it doesn’t matter if no one else understands. It’s fine as long as my brother does.” This is what she says most often.
So I realized that she regarded me more important than our parents— more than everyone else, and more than even herself.
So she was able to calmly accept the fact that she was an orphan because of me.
In her heart, she can have no father, no mother, and not the youngest daughter of the Shen family, but she can’t live without me.
This has gone beyond the scope that siblings can reach. After then, we were no longer just simple siblings— we have developed more bonds and more attachments despite knowing that we’re not really blood-related.
I realized that she is the responsibility and concern that I could not get rid of in my life, because on that day, I hooked my pinky fingers with her and promised to be together forever–
Kaye's Ugly Translations 