The weather was a little hot, and Mei Li was waiting in ceremony while standing under a porch outside Cining Palace. The morning sun was scorching hot, her forehead oozed with sweat but she did not dare wipe it.
When Yu’an gugu came to pick her up, her face showed a trace of approval because in the past, Mei Li will always refuse to wait outside and would just disrespectfully rush in without permission. She would also keep running around the yard, causing so much commotion. This princess had never observed any proper rules.
In the eyes of the gugu and momo of the palace, she was just deliberately messing around, showing off to everyone that she got the favor of the Grand Empress Dowager. Mei Li did not know that her innocence and foolish attitude made other people look at her with disgust and ridicule.
But now… her attitude shows that she has probably understood. She had learned.
“You can go in.” She smiled faintly at Mei Li.
Xiaozhuang looked at Mei Li and the eunuch behind her carrying a luggage. It was such a small bag that she could not help but feel so much compassion. This child Mei Li is really so pitiful. Especially now, it has become especially heartbreaking to see her being so docile. Perhaps, the remedy that was done to her was too heavy, it has affected her vitality. Xiaozhuang can only sigh with a heavy heart.
“It’s hot, isn’t it? Come and have some cold tea[1].” She asked Mei Li to sit down beside her. Seeing her sweaty face, the Grand Empress Dowager could not help but wipe Mei Li’s sweat with a handkerchief.
Mei Li smiled and shook her head gently.
“Stay at my place at the time being, okay?” Xiaozhuang frowned, “There’s no one to take good care of you now. Your body…” The old woman looked at Mei Li’s frail body and stared at her beautiful but pale face. “… you must take care of it.”
After a pause, Xiaozhuang’s tone became strange and her eyes looked away as if she was a little guilty. “You must let Yu’an and the others teach you teach you the skills and principles of living at home.”
Mei Li stood in ceremony and thanked her for the blessings. She remembered the words of the men in the slope who were talking about her during the hunt. She knew that Lao Zuzong is going to marry her off. She could not think who would be the unlucky guy so she just smiled bitterly. No matter who he is, she is someone who has no family who would provide her a generous dowry, so the least she could do is to try her best to do her duty to treat the future husband as a loved one. She can only repay that person in this way, for having someone like her as a wife.
Outside, there was a sound of greetings. Then Kangxi came in with a faint smile towards the kneeling crowd. Mei Li also bowed to the emperor respectfully and was preparing to withdraw.
“Sit down. You don’t need to go.” The emperor smiled. Although he did not look at her, his tone became a little bit casual. Mei Li had to sit down and lightly hold and squeeze the legs of Lao Zuzong so as not to sit so awkwardly while doing nothing.
The grandson and the grandmother talked, until Kangxi said, “What does Lao Zuzong think of this Suying?
Xiaozhuang was taken aback and somehow understood why the Emperor did not let Mei Li retreat. Although she could not bear to say these matters to Mei Li, she could not easily brush off the emperor’s words. “Fortunately, her temperament is gentle, her face is beautiful.” She complimented with an uninvited tone.
“At the moment, our military expenditure is tight, Jiangnan’s finances are particularly important. This one believes that it could be handled by Zha Mulang. He has been of service for many years, and I know he is the best choice.” Kangxi said lightly.
Although Mei Li could not quite understand everything, she had already guessed the emperor’s intentions. They are about to fight with the Dzungar, and had to dispense a lot of money. As most of the budget were from Jiangnan, they needed someone who is not just willing, but also skillful in the trade. Mei Li could now imagine how deep the water[2] here was, but she knows that Suying’s father[3] is such a person.
“Recently, Zha Mulang has been a very effective director in the Ministry of Households. I[4] am thinking of ways to encourage his daughter and it can be dealt with by bestowing her a good marriage. There are not much suitable ones of all your imperial nephews. Only Jingxuan has the status and the talent and looks worthy of her. Lao Zuzong has also seen. They two have been very close and are very interested in each other.”
Kangxi smiled and added, “I have already told this to Jingxuan privately and he also knew the stakes behind this move. But apart from these matters, he was also very fond of Suying. Therefor, I came to ask Lao Zuzong to bestow this marriage. Isn’t Lao Zuzong’s blessings more auspicious, weighty, and satisfactory than this grandson?
Mei Li’s face has not changed. But the moment she heard the emperor say Jingxuan’s name, the hands that were squeezing Lao Zuzong’s legs did tremble a bit. But she tried to restrain herself from any unnecessary reactions, so she could only continue massaging the old woman’s legs casually as if nothing happened. Nevertheless, she should not be too surprised about this.
The Emperor did not let her retreat just to let her hear these words, didn’t he? The smile on the corner of her mouth deepened. The Emperor might have been worrying too much. Because no matter how stupid she is, this matter… she has already figured it out in those two years.
Isn’t the Emperor overestimating her dedication to the man? She is also a woman. How can she not give up on a man who would not even look at her? Back then, she even gave a eunuch her last remaining silver to beg the Emperor on her behalf for Jingxuan to at least come and visit her. But he did not. The Emperor did not even let the eunuch bring back a word.
She did not want to relive this feeling of loss and helplessness while holding the little eunuch’s hand, asking him over and over what the emperor said. “What did he say?” But the little eunuch only replied, “Nothing” and “Just an uhm.” The pain of that moment has been imprinted in her heart. Hasn’t she suffered enough? Even she had laughed at herself.
She realized that the Emperor had already hinted her many times before. But she was just so stupid that she could not understand. She was so dense because she was so stubborn. No wonder she was sad and no one has given her sympathies. Everyone has been half-dead looking at how slow-wittedness. As she knew how thick she once was, she also felt she deserved all the bad things.
Now. She can already understand the hints. She always listens very thoroughly, so that in the future, she would not get hurt again. She would not get said.
“Well, this is a happy occasion. Jingxuan should also start a family.” Xiaozhuang nodded, but in front of Mei Li, she could not dare to be too enthusiastic.
“This grandson thought that after the spring hunt, I should ask Lao Zuzong to make a decree to take care of the wedding before going to the army and fight the Dzungar. Zha Mulang and I both needed to take this off our worries.
Xiaozhuang nodded.
After coming out of the Grand Empress Dowager palace, Mei Li was lead into a side hall to quietly tidy her belongings. There were just a few things, she packed them in a while. She was very satisfied with her mood at the moment, just calm and indifferent. It’s as if hearing Jingxuan’s marriage was hearing news of a stranger.
She had not started sipping from her tea when a maidservant came and asked her to go to the Grand Empress Dowager again. Mei Li was a little confused. Didn’t Lao Zuzong tell her to rest? Is there something urgent?
Before entering the door, she heard someone in the room talking in cheerful tones. Are there any guests?
Xiaozhuang is in the bedroom standing beside her favorite flower with woman with her back facing the door. The woman who looked slightly familiar to Mei Li is carefully sprinkling water on the blooming flowers. They talked and laughed intimately, that even Yu’an gugu who only rarely smiles was unusually showing a big arch on her lips and is even whispering happily.
“Come here, girl.” Xiaozhuang nodded at Mei Li, and the woman finally turned around when she heard the words, and looked at her with a kind smile.
Mei Li thought hard for a while before she finally remembered that this woman was Yonghe’s mother— Ying Ru Fujin. As she was really grateful of Yonghe’s kindness back at the hunt, she was very sincere in her greetings for good fortune.
“Only you are good at taking care of flowers and plants.” Xiaozhuang walked back to sit at the brick bed as she continued to talk to Ying Ru Fujin. “Yu’an is not as good as you.”
“This slave just likes to fiddle with these…” Ying Ru Fujin laughed and said humbly.
“As the saying goes, women who can grow flowers are able to pick men. You see why Yu’an is suffering here?” Xiaozhuang teased, provoking both Ying Ru and Yu’an.
Yu’an defended herself, “This is a slave who will serve Lao Zuzuong all her life.”
“Ying Ru. I’m so happy that you came back. Come visit me often. Take good care of the few flower seedlings in my garden! These gardeners were no match to your skills.” Xiaozhuang said while drinking tea. Yung Ru smiled and agreed.
“This is Xiao Mei Li. The child that I have always been taking with me. It’s time for her to get married[5].” Xiaozhuang smiled and pointed at Mei Li affectionately. “You teach her more so she will be easy to get along with in the future. I believe in your skills in rearing a family. I can see how well you have taught that child Yonghe.”
Ying Ru Fujin was taken aback for a moment and heard the half-meant insinuation spelled by the Grand Empress Dowager.
Mei Li looked at Ying Ru Fujin’s face which is now slowly turning pale, the corners of her mouth turning stiff. Suddenly, she felt sorry for her. Although what Lao Zuzong said was very melodious, the implications can be understood. Especially for someone like Ying Ru who has known Xiaozhuang for years. Then she saw Yingru Fujin secretly glance Yu’an gugu with an annoyed look as if asking for the other woman for confirmation. But Yu’an gugu just nodded helplessly.
The painstaking efforts that Lao Zuzong did for her, she only seems to realize it now. Mei Li can only lower her head and bite her lips. The rumors in the capital. Everyone’s contempt towards her family. Lao Zuzong naturally knew that she was afraid in suffering when she married into another family, so after thinking about it, she chose Ying Ru to be her mother-in-law. Because of Xiaozhuang’s favors that changed this woman’s lifetime, even though Ying Ru Fujin was unwilling, she would never treat Mei Li harshly.
She also deeply felt the dilemma of Lao Zuzong. For fear that Ying Ru Fujin would react strongly, she only hinted her words so vaguely and circuitously, leaving enough room for her.
Mei Li clenched her fists tightly. She should really cherish the efforts and sufferings of Lao Zuzong. No matter how thoughtful she was, she was not able to prepare for this and could only be sorry to all of them. After all, she still dense. If she had known earlier, they would probably not be in this situation.
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Notes:
[1] 凉茶 (liang cha) literally cold tea
[2] Author used the phrase 水有多深 (shui you duo shen), which had a pretty similar metaphor I think in english— it means she does not know how complicated the matters were. But the phrase 水很深 (shui hen shen) is more often used which literally translates into “the water is very deep”
[3] They actually used the word 阿玛 (ah-ma) here and I am always confused if I would retain the pinyin or translate it, but since ah-ma is a Manchurian address, I decided to just translate it so we would really feel that that it is suying’s father the emperor favors Suying because of the capabilities of her father
[4] Anyway, the emperor always uses 朕 (zhen) to refer himself, but for the flow, I would just retain the I. Anyways, the illeism would not be too important to note there would not be a lot of informal speech between the emperor and our MC and ML.
[5] The term used here was 音标 (chuge) which literally means out of the boudoir/cabinet. It is widely used in historical novels because back then, it was impossible for women to see other men casually. And a single woman lives in boudoir in the attic. So somehow, getting married is like getting out of the cabinet. I did not use that because it’s funny 🙂
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T/N: Most of the time, I get really amazed of the roundabout ways these royal blood could talk whenever they need to say something important. Simple phrases are always riddled with intentions, motives and implications. But dang Kangxi! I am fully with Mei Li this time. Like she said, she was just a little girl. Why is the sovereign of such a big land wasting words with her? How can the emperor deign to even say these words for her to hear? I mean if he’s afraid that Mei Li’s dedication to Jingxuan would ruin his plans for Zha Mulang, he can let others tell her. Is the cold palace not brutal enough?! *rolled my eyes hard I saw my brain* But despite my hair-pulling frustration, I am still really really sad about Mei Li. Look at what happened to her self-esteem. She had become so self-abasing. She always feels so undeserving and is always blaming herself. She is just a child!!!
So as we breach Chapter 12, we are officially 1/4 of the story.
Yay! More pæn on the next chapters.
Kaye's Ugly Translations 
Translator your thoughts are exactly mine. I believe she has paid for her sins already. I could argue she overpaid. People treat her like she was malicious when she was just spoiled. Not a fan of Grand Empress Dowager her concern comes off as superficial to me.
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The Grand Dowager isn’t some noble person who saved her. If she truly loved Mei Li, she would have advised Mei Li before going on the wrong path. Dowager could have defended Mei Li’s public honour/reputation. If Dowager cared about Mei Li, she would have looked out for her in cold palace. What is the use of her pity when it didn’t save her from suffering? Now she is throwing her into a deeper pit of marrying into a resentful family.
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